Tuesday, January 7, 2014
The miracle of new life has sunk deeper into my soul because of Ava. Friday was her due date. For nine days after she was born, I kept thinking to myself "she could have easily still been inside of me." I kept staring into her precious face in disbelief that this beautiful creature used to be inside of me in her entirety. I stood even more amazed that the process of birth works like it does. I suppose with my first two children I didn't think about it much. One moment I was pregnant and the next I wasn't, that much I recognized, but that all seemed rather surreal. This time, I had moments when I was pregnant where I sat completely shocked that there was another being inside of me. And then I had moments after her birth where I sat completely shocked that this beautiful person I was holding had grown from nothing to her inside of me.
It all seems so exquisitely designed. I do not know how to build a person. Yet, my body does, all on it's own. Or maybe it's more accurate to say that her body knows how to build itself, and it still continues to do so. During one moment as I held her in the hospital, I felt and heard a small girgle in her digestive system. I was stunned. It seemed incredulous to me that she had all of her tiny organs already inside of her, working in perfect unison at one day old. From conception to birth, the system seems so complex and yet it works so easily for so many babies and so many parents, with relatively few complications and problems on the whole.
All of this has been bubbling in my head and to me, it is powerful evidence that we have an all-knowing God. To me, it makes little sense to say that human existence is an accident. As I've watched my body change and adapt to accommodate new life, felt that new life emerge from me, and sustained that new life with my body still, I feel as if I've seen God moving in the heavens with all his majesty, and I cannot deny Him.