I spent some time researching the women behind the protest and their reasons for initiating it. They are Latter-day Saint feminist women who take issue with the fact that women cannot hold the priesthood and therefore cannot hold certain callings in the church, including what they see as prominent callings. They wish to give their children priesthood blessings on their own, instead of relying on men. They believe women have limited agency in the church when it comes to callings, modesty, career decisions, and the priesthood. They take issue with Mormon culture, which they feel is suppressive and judgmental.
I get where these women are coming from, but what I can't wrap my head around is the arrogance of believing your own understanding is above God's.
If they believe the priesthood has power to bless and heal, they know it is from God and not from man alone. If you believe the priesthood is from God, then take your protests to God, not the church. Anyone aspiring to "prominent" callings in the church has some serious pride issues. "Prominent" callings give us opportunity to serve others and lead them to truth. The fact that women can't fill all of those positions doesn't bother me. I don't feel that it sends the message that women are less valid, less righteous, or less capable of leading.
As far as Mormon culture, it has its flaws because people aren't perfect. We are all imperfect and say dumb and hurtful things sometimes. The church is founded on Truth. Our membership in the church and willingness to follow God's commandments shouldn't be based on the culture of imperfect individuals, but on the Truth.
The biggest issue I have with feminism is its denigration of children. Inherent in the talk of "shackles" of family is the idea that children ruin our lives. Feminists would have us believe husbands and children are a ball and chain, forever limiting our ability to make choices. Mormon feminists take issue with the line "mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children" from The Family: A Proclamation to the World, because they feel it limits their ability to choose what they want to do with their lives. I'm not sure exactly why they feel limited. They have freedom to follow the council or not follow the council. As for me and my house, we will follow the direction of Heavenly Father.
I would like to speak on behalf of children. We were all children once, and the home we came from did shape who we became. I refuse any movement that treats children like a burden, a ball and chain, and a last choice. I insist on treating children like a first priority because they are worth it. I believe that mothers are better equipped than any other person to raise their own children. I shutter to think that my kids could be under the care of someone who doesn't have their absolute best interest in mind. No amount of love a caretaker has for a child will ever come close to the love a mother has for her child. No caretaker could care as much as I do about what my children are understanding about the world, and how they are progressing physically, emotionally and spiritually. I simply cannot understand how a women's rights platform can ignore the wellbeing of women at ALL ages.
Mormon feminists take issue with the fact that men aren't expected to stay home with kids. But I can't figure out why the answer is to fight for equality at the expense of your children. Sometimes, I too think "this is totally unequal" and "I feel trapped." It finally donned on me, without any prompting from my husband, how hard his life is. While I spend my day chasing, crawling, building forts and making meals, and sharing hugs, kisses and meaningful moments with my kids, he spends his sitting in a chair sharing emails with acquaintences. He spends 10 hours a day sitting in the same spot, every day. This is hard on him. He does it because we are worth it. After spending 10 hours at work, he comes to a home where he doesn't have much control over how clean it is, what's for dinner, or which of his clothes are clean. Furthermore, he has to forfeit all job earnings to go toward home and family expenses. We both sacrifice because we are worth it to each other and because we know our kids are worth it.
I don't understand why we think we can spend our time fighting for our individual fulfillment and remain clueless as to why there are so many single mothers, deadbeat dads, abused or abandoned children, and divorces followed by divorces. Maybe there'd be a lot more happiness in this world if we each fought for our loved ones, their well being, and their happiness. There's so much to give and go around if we would only give it instead of demanding more. Wake up world.
25 comments:
Thank you for posting this Jodi! I have to say I found myself absolultely appauled by the invitation myself! I wish I could help more women understand what they're missing out on. Thanks for sticking up for motherhood and womanhood! Its nice to know there are still some who will glory in the gifts and talents that God has given them.
Jodi I love this!!! Thank you for saying what I feel but would never have been able to put it in to words so clearly.
Amen! I totally agree.
I just read about this on KSL tonight. And this seems like the dumbest thing ever. But there is one thing I have learned over the years. The doctrine is pure and true. The people are flawed and in need of the doctrine.
Thanks for sharing.
it's always better to try to understand where people are coming from, rather than judging them as arrogant, unfaithful, or bad parents.
Beautiful and so true! Love it Jodi, you are right on! Em
I don't know you personally, but I just wanted to say that I'm a feminist, and I totally love everything you said. Sometimes I wish other feminists would see that they are defining things their own way and then becoming angry and contentious about the definitions they made up! I completely agree. Thanks for writing this and bringing some sense into world. :D
Jodi, honored you are part of your family and appreciate your position and your ability to so clearly express it.
Huzzah for you Jodi! I have a few things to say about this:
1. The time and effort and talents I put into raising my children, after 35 years is really starting to pay off! I wholeheartedly agree that no one can teach your children like you, the Mom can.
2. Coming from the view point of a Bishop's wife, I see the sacrifice and stress my husband carries as he "serves". I am so happy to be a great supporter!
3. A Pants Protest. Really? You know that only works in the state of Utah. Women here wear pants when they don't have a skirt or maybe when they are really cold. Who said you can't attend church in dress pants, or jeans for that matter if that's all you have.
Okay. I said my piece.
Amen! :)
Well written! Thank you!
Sigh. Please don't put words in the mouths of other people. No where on the description of the event is there a mention about the priesthood. Also, if this event were the "dumbest thing ever", there would not be nearly this much contention about it. Please consider that. I won't be visiting your blog again, most likely, but remember not to put words in the mouths of others and I will try to do the same.
Actually Seagulljaap- I listened to an interview done with one of the women who instigated this movement and she mention the priesthood-she brought up that perhaps women should be passing the sacrament. There is way more going on than some believe.
Thanks you....and "ditto" what you said. You are a very articulate woman and I appreciate your thoughts on this matter.
It's disrespectful to invalidate and minimize women who feel differently than you do. You may not share their opinions, but there's no need generalize and assume these women are power hungry man-haters.
Feminism in the church is not about making men and women equal. It's about presenting equal opportunities. About giving men and women, with all their variables and talents, ways to put them to use.
Listen, the gospel is open to interpretation. It allows for a wide variety of interpretation. That's part of the appeal.
You can assume these women are arrogant, but isn't is arrogant to assume this is God's will? If our leaders are fallible, there where does the line blur, and do we admit that because they are imperfect men, they have imperfectly interpreted doctrine?
You may assume that the church doesn't run on popular vote... but in the late 70's the First Presidency stated emphatically that you couldn't get into the temple if you participated in oral sex with your spouse. Well, people fought back and in a couple of years they retracted it. Blacks and the priesthood didn't just fall out of the sky... it was due to social pressure and changing times.
God speaks to his people, and change does come from the bottom up. Perhaps this is His way of putting it in motion. You never know.
I am a stay at home mom, I home school my kids, I foster parent, I have a hot meal waiting for my husband when he gets home every day... but I know not everyone wants to do what I do. And it doesn't make them wrong. They have a different path than I do.
It doesn't denigrate children to want other things in addition to a family. I've never heard a Mormon Feminist say anything like that. And I read a ton of Feminist Mormon literature. All they are wanting to do is provide opportunities, get rid of obsolete policies, and help women stop judging other women for being different.
It gets tricky when cultural traditions get mixed in with Mormon mythology and we perpetuate ideas like we can only "feel the spirit" in certain settings, with certain people wearing certain clothes.
Just have some compassion, recognize that there isn't one right way. Or one right answer.
Kaydence, thanks you so much for your comment.
I am one of those Mormon Feminists that are mentioned in this post. I respect the right of a person to record their feelings on a subject; however, a line has to be drawn. When you accuse others this way, when you lump together these women who you say just lack understanding and denigrate their faith, and their understanding, then that is absolutely wrong. I am so glad that you don't feel what these women feel. How lucky you are to be spared that pain, to be content and happy with the role your faith has given you. How lucky you are to have the kind of spirit that enables you to embrace that. But it makes me sad that in all your blessing, you cannot see your way to compassion, sympathy, and tolerance for those who are not like you. Have you ever actually had a conversation, an honest-to-goodness talk with the goal of understanding, with a Mormon feminist? Have you asked their reasons why they feel they way they do? Have you asked them how they would balance work and family? How they actually feel about having children and then raising them? Please, until you do (and I'm 100% absolutely positive that you haven't yet, or you wouldn't have been able to write this), be respectful. I support the right of any woman to choose to be a SAHM; it is one of the hardest, most unappreciated jobs in the world. But I equally support the right of any woman to demand something different for HER life and be respected for it within our religious culture. You do not see the tears, the prayers, and the heartfelt desire to do God's will and be happy in life (2 Nephi 2:25) that these women experience to make a path through such conflicting desires. Trust me, it takes a whole lot more faith to stay in the Church when you are experiencing turmoil along these lines than you would think.
Best wishes, though, for you and your family. Hopefully this comment is not taken as anything other than trying to present a different side of the picture.
They call it the Plan of Happiness for a reason. You will be happy if you do what God says, and right now he is saying to his daughters, through his prophet, "stay home and take care of your families." The church isn't out to supress women. It is here to support families, whether through the power of the priesthood or the nurturing care of a woman.
Jodi is right. Feminism denigrates children. It's not that Feminist's don't care about children, of course they do. Rather it is a natural consequence of removing mother's from the role of nurturer to provider. The church is not stopping women from persuing careers. They can if they want, but by persuing careers they will inevitably have to sacrifice in another area, and that area is usually the family.
I think I'm going to start a 'Manism' movement, where we push for men to have babies, wear dresses, serve as the primary president, and stay home with the kids. I'm sure our families and the church would be better for it. After all, it's all about equality...right?
Just because we don't always function in the same roles doesn't mean we are not equals. When you choose to have a family it's a given that their will be sacrifices for both men and women.
I have shed the tears of turmoil, feeling unsatisfied with the life of a mormon woman. I have struggled with my desire to have a career, with not holding the priesthood, and even with equality. I have spent ten years trying to understand and have peace and I have finally found it in my persistence to pray, study, and do what God has asked me to do. I pray that all of you may find the same peace I have found. God loves his daughters and he hears your prayers.
So true. I love this blog.
Hi Jody! This is Terry, Jenna’s mother. I felt that I had to comment on your blog post. I do not believe that the original intent of the Wear Pants to Church movement was to protest inequality in the Church. Although that is an underlying theme, the Pants movement was designed to help those that are hurting to feel solidarity with others. Do you remember in Mosiah when Alma talks to his followers about being baptized? He said, “. . . and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light; Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort . . .” (Mosiah 18: 8-9). We have women in the Church to whom this scripture speaks. There are women in the Church who truly mourn, who wonder if there is a place in the Gospel for them. These women need others to help them bear their burdens, to mourn with them, and to comfort them. This is what the Pants movement is about. Jody, it’s about our hearts; it’s not about the pants. I am so happy for you that you don’t have the pain these women have, so happy. But, will you look around your ward on Sunday and see if you can find other women who need comfort for whatever reason and who may or may not be wearing pants? And extend unto them true love and acceptance? As an example, I remember how I hurt back in the days before my husband joined the Church and became a priesthood bearer. As a convert to the Church, I didn’t understand how much I would want someone who held the priesthood to be living in my home until Jenna was born. You will never know how much it hurt when my daughter was sick to have to call my home teacher or some other available male in the ward to come to my home to give a blessing. As her mother, I prayed most fervently in Jenna’s behalf, but my prayers, although much more emotion-laden, were not good enough I was told. I learned not to show how badly this and a myriad of other things hurt; I grew thick skin and no one knew that I felt like an outsider. In all those years, in part because I am so stoic, no one knew my pain and no one offered me the support, the comfort I needed. I have stayed in the Church all of these years because I love my Heavenly Father and His Son. I want to return to them. I have a strong testimony of the Gospel and the Plan of Happiness.
I go to Church on the Sabbath to feel of my Savior’s love, to worship Him, and learn how I can be more like Him. I also go to sustain those who teach and lead, and also to support those who need my support because that is what Christ would have me do. There used to be a woman who attended my home ward who was on again-off again in her activity. When she came, she usually smelled like coffee and cigarettes . . . and a few years into her on-off activity, she came every week for a couple of months in slacks. I am ashamed to admit that I judged her. I have offered many prayers in repentance when I think of ways that I mistreated her and I have prayed that I didn’t do something that ultimately drove her from the Church. Today, I would welcome her with open arms, tell her that I had missed her, and was so happy to see her. Because church is where she belongs. Perfect people do not belong in church, but the sinners do. And she was the first to admit that she sinned. But it was so wrong of me to judge her. And her pants-wearing was part of my judgment, probably more so than the coffee and cigarettes. Christianity is built on the foundation of love, not judgment, toward my neighbor.
2nd part because I am so wordy . . .
1 Sam 16:7 "The Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart." This is my goal, to look on others’ hearts, not on how they look. My husband and I serve in the YSA ward in our stake. There are many types of people who attend. We actually had a young man who was investigating the Church who came in board shorts . . . and bare feet because he could not find his shoes. He was so excited to attend church with the missionaries that he didn’t want to find the time to search for his shoes because they just weren’t that important. We, as a ward, gathered around him. We were glad he was there, dressed as he was, because when you look at it honestly, shoes don’t matter. Skirts, dresses, pants, they don’t matter. What matters is that you are in church because you love the Savior.
Sorry to be so long-winded, but I have just a couple of other points. It is not official doctrine for females to wear dresses/skirts to when attending church. Specifically, directive from the Church is, “The Church has not attempted to indicate just how long women's or girls' dresses should be nor whether they should wear pant suits or other types of clothing." So, actually it is a non-issue in most places, typically outside of Utah. I have known female Church leaders who have worn pantsuits on the Sabbath while presiding.
Last thing, Mormon feminism is not about denigration of children. I have never met an LDS woman (or man), feminist or not, who doesn’t love her/his family. I do not know one who has felt shackled by family. I have not met a single feminist who doesn’t admit that typically (but not in all cases), the mother (whether she works or is a stay-at-home parent) is the primary caregiver of the children. I do not know any LDS feminists who have fought for equality at the expense of their children. As a woman who has had to work all of her adult life, not because I wanted to be away from my home, this has been a particularly onerous burden. It was hurtful to read that the mere act of supporting my family financially was an indication that I loved my daughter any less than someone who has the opportunity to be at home with her children. Please do not judge me. Help me bear my burden. I have known you, Jodi, for many, many years. I count your mother as one of my dear friends. I know you to be a loving, kind, generous person. Please be understanding as well. I wish you all the best!
After reading Jodi's beautiful blog and all the very well written comments, I just wanted to comment once more--and Yes, I know this could go on forever and ever. The real and overarching doctrine of the gospel of Jesus Christ is agency. This is the purpose of the plan of happiness, this is the purpose of the Atonement, this is the purpose of raising our children...this is the PURPOSE OF LIFE!
Each of us has the right and the responsibility to make choices that best meet our needs. However, sometimes we neglect to realize that the choices we make, expend our ability to make other choices.
For instance, when we choose to have a family, our choice dictates that we also use our time, talents and resources to uphold and support that family. Children are not a trophy. Mothers who work, mothers who stay home, mothers who manage both, still have chosen to be mothers and that denotes a responsibility to our children.
I am a both mother. Mostly, I stayed home, but I also worked, luckily, mostly from home during all my children's growing years. So, I do understand that some women have to work, or gain fulfillment from working. However, I still chose to have children and they still were my second priority--second only to my husband--but my family came first!
Now that said, protesting church leadership and equality for women in the church; and raising my children to the best of my ability, are in my eyes, two separate things.
One is the the result of choices I made to have a family and take care of them;the other is about sustaining Church leaders, and in my opinion my Heavenly Father. The second is about obedience. Even if it is hard and I don't totally agree, I can go to my Heavenly Father and receive the peace and comfort that he has given me that I AM NOT IN CHARGE! I can be obedient and blossom as a woman in the Gospel of Jesus Christ AND in the Church!
"Mine house is a house of order" and I have a job to fulfill to keep it that way. And my husband has a job to fulfill to keep it that way. And, just like my job at the high school, if I do my job, everything runs smoothly. But if I try to do someone else's job, or they try to do mine, chaos rules.
Okay, I'm sure there is much more to say....and I'm sure someone else will say it.
But there's my take on the whole thing!
What an interesting blog this has become. Sounds to me like no one is truly judging anyone else, just stating opinions and gently misinterpreting others opinions. Lucky that we all have the agency to have such opinions and the opportunity to love as Christ would love. Thank you for your opinions and the time you have spent to research and share them in an open light.
Wow, you guys are amazingly eloquent. I however, am kind of a straight to the point kind of person. What the prophet says goes. It is never up to interpretation and should always be taken as scripture. Seems to me there are some foundational basics that need to be studied here. I think the whole thing is simply a surface to much deeper personal issues. Jodi, you are quite fantastic!
I have never been made to feel inferior to a man in the church. Perhaps that is because my husband treats me like a queen. I don't see anything demeaning in women and men having different roles. Men seem content to let women bare children. Can we not be content to support them in their roles. Can all this contention really be about presiding over a congregation? I sense something much deeper. As women of the church we need to stay focused on becoming more like Christ. When we loose ourselves in His service it is surprising what interests and hobbies fall to the wayside.
I would have missed all the commotion about the pants to church day, were it not for my adult daughter who co-houses with me.
I think all too many women forget or never learned that they can give blessings by the power of their faith in Christ. Having done that various times, it is not a power to be toyed with. There are consequences. And the thing about faith is that it only works if you are doing and voicing God's will.
So if a woman was giving a blessing with the intent or effect of subverting the proper (note I didn't say pre-eminent) role of priesthood, the blessing voiced by that woman would be ineffectual to the degree that it was unrighteous.
The same holds true for the blessings voiced by men, by the way.
As it was, Adam Lanza shot up Sandy Hook a few days before this "wear pants to church" thing was supposed to happen. I suspect that the fact Adam killed Emilie Parker, a sparkling and beloved CTR, was more prominent in the minds of the majority than whether some sisters were wearing pants.
Post a Comment